Woman asked online for advice on how to deal with grief and an old man replies back to her

With every hello there has to be a goodbye. Just like with every journey, there is an journeys end. We all know that our end could come at any minute, any hour, for us or those we love.

Despite death being a part of life it still never fails to leave a hole in our heart whenever we lose someone we loved. It’s the hardest pain we as humans have to go through — to grieve those that have passed away.

Death leaves a wound that’s difficult to heal. People are fond of saying ‘time heals all wounds’. But this is not true. I have found the only thing that heals all wounds is Jesus. Knowing that I will see those loved ones once more helps ease the pain of not having them here with me again.

A woman seeking an advice went to the online forum community Reddit. She was experiencing the grief of losing her best friend. She went looking for someone who could give her advice on how to heal.

“My friend died. I don’t know what to do.”

A lot of Redditors shared their own experiences of losing a loved one, most expressed their condolences towards the anonymous woman. Among the many responses from the woman’s post, one comment which came from a self-confessed ‘old man’, answered with an honest and beautiful response.

Here’s the old man’s response to the Redditor’s unfortunate circumstance, which amassed the highest upvote.

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.”

“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to ‘not matter.’ I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.”

“Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.”

“As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.”

“In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.”

“Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.”

“Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

Death comes for us all in time. As someone who truly believes in Jesus, I know that I will see those loved ones again one day. That is a very comforting thought. One day the scars from the absences of those I loved will be gone and replaced with joy without end. If you do not know Jesus Christ today and want a personal relationship with him, please pray this prayer with me today.

Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life. I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen.

 

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