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  My Grandfather Eats Lunch on This Bench Every Tuesday—Even Though We Moved Two Years Ago

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  MY SON WON’T SLEEP UNLESS HIS HAND TOUCHES THE MESH—HE SAYS “SHE NEEDS TO STAY OUT”

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  MY LITTLE BROTHER WON’T SLEEP IN HIS BED — HE SAYS THE COW KNOWS THE TRUTH

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  MY NIECE ONLY ATE HALF THE POPSICLE — THEN ASKED ME WHY THE POLICEMEN SMELLED LIKE GRANDPA’S CLOSET

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  Grandma Celebrated Her Birthday — With A Cake That Shouldn’t Exist

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  MY UNCLE SAVED THE CAT—BUT ASKED ME NOT TO TELL WHERE HE FOUND IT

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  MY AUNT SMILED FOR THIS PHOTO—RIGHT AFTER SHE TOLD ME TO HIDE THE RING

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  My Cousin Dressed Like This For Court—But He’s Seven Years Old

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  My Niece Didn’t Recognize Her Own Mom — And Neither Did I

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  She Asked Me To Call Her “Carla” — But That’s Not Her Name

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  He Thought The Cop Bike Was His New Ride And Started Giving Orders To The Officer

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  I Dressed My Son For School And He Walked Out Looking Like A Tiny Street Hustler