Itโs weird seeing my grandfather read in public.
He always told us books were private thingsโ”like prayers or bank accounts,” heโd say. But there he was, in that cafรฉ near Rue de Montreuil, calmly flipping pages like nothing had happened.
I hadnโt seen him since Christmas. Not after what I found tucked in the back of my momโs closet.
A letter. Addressed to him, in her handwriting.
It was dated three weeks before I was born.
And it began with:
โI donโt care if you keep pretending to be my father, but you donโt get to name him.โ
I waited an hour before walking in. Ordered a cherry soda. Sat two tables away and watched his eyes move across the lines, like none of them were lies.
Then I noticed the book.
It wasnโt just any book. It was the exact same copy he gave me when I turned fifteen.
The same torn dust jacket. The same dog-eared pages.
And then I saw it. The page heโd left open, the corner of the paper folding over just slightlyโlike heโd done hundreds of times before. I had memorized that fold, the one that never quite fit back in place after all the times Iโd read the chapter over and over. I could almost hear his voice reading it aloud. The book was a part of our history, our familyโs secret.
I couldnโt resist anymore.
I stood up, paid for my soda, and walked over.
He looked up from the book when I stood in front of him. There was no shock in his eyes, no real surprise, just that calm I had come to know too well. The kind of calm that said, “I know youโre here, and I know why.”
“Do you want it back?” he asked, his voice low. His fingers lingered on the edge of the page, as if he was deciding whether to keep reading or give me the chance to speak.
โNo. I just wanted to see it. One last time,โ I said, my voice sounding thinner than I intended.
He smiled then, a small, understanding smile that didnโt quite meet his eyes.
โI thought Iโd been waiting for you. I guess I was wrong. Youโre here now, though. What did you want to ask me?โ
I wanted to ask everything. But what came out was, โDid you ever tell her you knew?โ
He didnโt look surprised. In fact, his expression softened, like he had expected this. His finger traced the edge of the page slowly, as though it was something precious to him, something far older than the book itself.
โNo. I never told her. I thought sheโd tell you one day. But she never did.โ
His words hit me harder than I expected. They confirmed everything I had feared, everything I had hoped to avoid. That letter… the truth had been right in front of me all along, but I hadnโt wanted to believe it. My grandfather, the man I looked up to, was the one who had been hiding the most from me.
โI always thought you were the good guy, Grandpa,โ I whispered, barely able to form the words. โI thought you were my hero.โ
He let out a slow, deep breath, setting the book down in front of him. โI am still your hero, kid. But heroes have flaws. Big ones.โ
I wanted to shout. I wanted to call him a liar, to scream about how everything had changed. But I couldnโt. My chest felt too tight to do anything except sit there, stunned, while he continued.
โYouโre not the first person to think that. You know, when I first met your grandmother, she told me the same thing. She thought I was the hero of her story, the one who could save her from whatever she was running from. But I didnโt save her. I only complicated things.โ
I took a deep breath and looked out the window. The cafรฉ was quiet now, just the clink of cups and forks as a soft hum of conversation filled the air. The street outside seemed far removed from the emotional whirlwind swirling around me.
โSo, what was it? What happened between you two?โ
His fingers gripped the edges of the book tightly now, as if the words were starting to slip out faster than he could control. โI wasnโt the man she needed me to be. But thatโs a story for another time. You need to know the truth about what happened with your mom. Thatโs what matters now.โ
The weight of the conversation settled into my bones. I wasnโt sure if I was ready to hear whatever truth he had been carrying all these years. But I needed to know. I had to know what had been kept from me.
He sighed again, almost like the air was too heavy for him to breathe, and finally, his voice dropped low. โThe letter you foundโฆ it was written when your mom found out about something I did. Something I should have never let happen. I told her, years ago, that Iโd do anything for her, that Iโd protect her from all the things in life that could hurt her. But I didnโt protect her from myself.โ
I could hear his words, but they didnโt fully register. My heart was pounding in my chest, trying to piece everything together, but the pieces were scattered and didnโt fit.
โI didnโt tell her who your real father was. I thought if I kept pretending to be him, that I could fix things. I thought if I could be that father, Iโd be the one she could count on. But thatโs not how it works, is it?โ His voice broke, just for a moment. โThe truth always finds a way out.โ
I couldnโt speak. My throat felt like it was closing up, and the lump in my chest grew larger with each word.
โSo, what did she do?โ I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
He leaned forward, eyes locked with mine, and for the first time in years, I saw something I hadnโt expected: regret. Real, raw regret. โShe left. She left me, but not because I wasnโt your father. She left because I failed her in every way that mattered. And for years, I thought I could fix that. But I couldnโt. And by the time I figured that out, she was already gone.โ
I felt the floor beneath me shift, like my world was tilting in a way that didnโt make sense. The man I had spent my life admiring, the one who taught me to love books and stories and honesty, had been living with a lie all this time.
โI never wanted to be a villain in your life. But I guess I am one,โ he said quietly, staring down at the book in front of him.
โNo, Grandpa,โ I said quickly, feeling a sense of clarity I hadnโt felt before. โYouโre not a villain. Youโre just… human. You made a mistake, but youโre still here, still trying to make things right.โ
He raised an eyebrow, surprised at my words. โIโm not sure you understand what Iโm saying.โ
โI do. I understand more than you think,โ I said, taking a deep breath. โYou didnโt protect mom from the truth. But I think itโs time I started forgiving you. Maybe… just maybe, thatโs the first step for me, too.โ
His face softened then, as though he was hearing the words he hadnโt expected. He reached for my hand, the one that was still resting on the table, and for the first time in a long while, I felt the weight of the past beginning to lift.
โIโm sorry,โ he whispered.
I smiled, the kind of smile that felt like the world was beginning to shift back into place. โMe too, Grandpa. Me too.โ
We sat there in silence for a long time, the cafรฉ around us fading into the background. And in that silence, something unspoken passed between us. The truth was heavy, but it was also freeing. It was messy, but it was real.
โI think itโs time we both move on, donโt you?โ he asked quietly.
I nodded, and for the first time in years, I didnโt feel like I was chasing a truth that wasnโt mine. The past couldnโt be changed, but it could be accepted.
โI think so,โ I said, finally feeling the weight of that moment lift.
As I walked out of the cafรฉ, the crisp autumn air filled my lungs. The world didnโt look so dark anymore. I didnโt know what would come next, but for the first time, I wasnโt running from it. I was walking toward it, hand in hand with the truth.
Sometimes, the hardest thing to do isnโt confronting the pastโitโs accepting it.




